


Loving a Married Man

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: M/M, Rewrite, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-10 13:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Hamilton -- but in John Laurens' point of view-literally the songs but sung by John.-will probably not do them all btw





	1. Congratulations

**Author's Note:**

> Q: Who da fuq is Jack?  
> -The relatives or friends of John Laurens were saying Jack or Jackie to him, it was a nickname.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is a ghost in this i guess
> 
> Coming back from the dead to roast your friend lol

**[ALEXANDER]**  
Jack...  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Alexander  
Congratulations  
You have invented a new kind of stupid  
A 'damage you can never undo' kind of stupid  
An 'open all the cages in the zoo' kind of stupid  
'Truly, you didn't think this through?' kind of stupid  
Let's review  
You took a rumor a few maybe two people knew and refuted it by sharing an affair of which no one has accused you  
They begged you to take a break, you refused to  
So scared of what your enemies will do to you  
You're the only enemy you ever seem to lose to  
You know why Jefferson can do what he wants?  
He doesn't dignify school-yard taunts with a response!  
So yeah, congratulations!  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Jacky...  
  
**[JOHN]**  
You've redefined your legacy  
Congratulations  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
It was an act of political sacrifice!  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Sacrifice?  
I languished in a loveless marriage in London  
I lived only to read your letters  
I look at you and think 'God, what have we done with our lives and what did it get us?'  
That doesn't wipe the tears or the years away  
But I’m back for this moment ‘til I fade away  
And you know what I'm here to do?  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
My Jacky...

  
**[JOHN]**  
I know you better then I know my own mind

You could never find anyone as reckless yet so kind

And a million years ago you said to me "This one's mine."

So I stood by

Do you know why?

I truly love you more then anything in this life!

I will choose your happiness over mine every time!

Eliza!   
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Eliza  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Is the best thing in your life

So never loose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with such a wife!  
Congratulations  
For the rest of your life  
Every sacrifice you make is for your family  
Give them the best life  
Congratulations


	2. Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here comes the tears

**[JOHN]**  
Alright, alright. That’s what I’m talkin’ about!  
Now everyone give it up for the maid of honor  
Angelica Schuyler!

**[ANGELICA]** _  
A toast to the groom!_  
_To the bride!_  
_From your sister_  
_Who is always by your side_  
_To your union_  
_And the hope that you provide_  
_May you always…_  
_Be satisfied_  
  
**Rewind, Rewind**  
**Helpless, sky's, sky's**  
**Drownin' in em**  
**Drownin', rewind**  
  
**I remember that night, I just might (rewind)**  
**I remember that night, I just might (rewind)**  
**I remember that night, I remember that—**  
  
**[JOHN]**  
I remember that night, I just might  
Regret that night for the rest of my days  
  
I remember us soldier boys  
Tripping over ourselves to win their praise  
  
I remember that dreamlike candlelight  
Like a dream that you can’t quite place  
  
But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first  
Time I saw your face  
  
I have never been the same  
Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame  
And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name  
Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame  
This is not a game…  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied  
  
**[JOHN]**  
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
You’re like me. I’m never satisfied  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Is that right?  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
I have never been satisfied  
  
**[JOHN]**  
My name is John Laurens  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
Alexander Hamilton  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Where’s your family from?  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but  
Just you wait, just you wait…  
  
**[JOHN]**  
So so so—  
So this is what it feels like to match wits  
With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s  
The feeling of freedom, of seein’ the light  
It’s Ben Franklin with a key and a kite! You see it, right?  
The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes  
Ev’rything we said in total agreement, it’s  
A dream and it’s a bit of a dance  
A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance. He’s a  
Bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance  
I asked about his fam’ly, did you see his answer?  
His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance?  
He’s penniless, he’s flying by the seat of his pants  
  
Handsome, boy, does he know it!  
Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it!  
I wanna take him far away from this place  
Then I turn and see Schuyler's face and she is…  
  
**[ELIZA]**  
Helpless…  
  
**[JOHN]**  
And I know she is…  
  
**[ELIZA]**  
Helpless…  
  
**[JOHN]**  
And her eyes are just…  
  
**[ELIZA]**  
Helpless…  
  
**[JOHN]**  
And I realize  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Three fundamental truths at the exact same time…

  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
_Where are you taking me?_  
  
**[ANGELICA]**  
_I’m about to change your life_  
  
**[HAMILTON]**  
_Then by all means, lead the way_

* * *

** Number one! **

* * *

 

**[JOHN]**

I'm a man in a world in which my only job is to fight in a trench

I'm not my father's son so I'm the one who has to social climb for once

So I’m the boldest and the wittiest and the gossip in

New York City is insidious

And Alexander is penniless

Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less

 

**[ELIZA]**  
_Elizabeth Schuyler. It’s a pleasure to meet you_

**[HAMILTON]**  
_Schuyler?_

**[ANGELICA]**  
_My sister_

* * *

  **Number two!**

* * *

**[JOHN]**  
He’s after her 'cause she's a Schuyler sister

That elevates his status, I’d

Have to be naive to set that aside

Maybe that is why I let him go after Eliza

Now that’s his bride

Nice going there, Laurens, he was right

You will never be satisfied

 

**[ELIZA]**  
_Thank you for all your service_

**[HAMILTON]**   
_If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it_

**[ANGELICA]**  
_I’ll leave you to it_

* * *

**Number three!**

* * *

**[JOHN]**  
I know my best friend like I know my own mind!

You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind!

If I tell him that I love him he'd return it in a stride

He’d be mine

He'd say we'll be fine

 

_**He'd be lying!** _

 

**[JOHN]**  
But when I fantasize at night  
It’s Alexander’s eyes  
As I romanticize what might've been

If we'd learned to hide,

we could've been happy

At least you have Eliza, your wife

At least you will still be in my life.

 

**[JOHN & ANGELICA]**  
_To the groom!_  
_To the bride!_

  
  
**[JOHN]**  
From your best friend!  
Who is always by your side  
To your union  
And the hope that you provide  
May you always  
Be satisfied  
And I know  
She’ll be happy as  
His bride  
And I know  
He will never be satisfied  
I will never be satisfied


	3. Say No To This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when you come back from the dead just to fuck your best friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Martha was married to John.  
> I know John is dead at this point, but just take it.  
> Also this is trash  
> 10/10 don't recommend

**[BURR]**

There's nothing like summer in the city  
Someone under stress meets someone looking pretty  
There's trouble in the air, you can smell it  
And Alexander's by himself. I'll let him tell it

* * *

 **[ALEXANDER]**  
I hadn't slept in a week  
I was weak, I was awake  
You never seen a bastard orphan  
More in need of a break  
Longing for Angelica  
Missing my wife  
That's when John Laurens walked back into my life, he said:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
I know you are a man of honor  
I'm so sorry to bother you at home  
But I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone…  
  
**[ALEXANDER:]**  
He said:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
My life's been doin' me wrong  
Beatin' me, cheatin' me, mistreatin' me...  
Suddenly, my job is up and gone  
I don't have the means to go on  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
So I offered him a loan, I offered to walk him home, he said  
  
**[JOHN]**  
You're too kind, sir  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
I gave him thirty bucks that I had socked away  
He lived a block away, he said:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
This one's mine, sir  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Then I said, "Well, I should head back home,"  
He turned red, he led me to his bed  
Let his legs spread and said:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Stay?  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Hey…  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Hey…  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
That's when I began to pray:  
Lord, show me how to  
Say no to this  
I don't know how to  
Say no to this  
  
But my God, he looks so helpless  
And his body's saying, "Hell, yes."  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Whoa...  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
No, show me how to  
  
_Say no to this_  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
I don't know how to  
  
_Say no to this_  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
In my mind, I'm tryin' to go  
  
_Go! Go! Go!_  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Then his mouth is on mine, and I don't say…  
  
_No! No!_  
_Say no to this!_  
_No! No!_  
_Say no to this!_  
_No! No!_  
_Say no to this!_  
_No! No!_  
_Say no to this!_

* * *

 **[ALEXANDER]**  
I wish I could say that was the last time  
I said that last time. It became a pastime  
A month into this endeavor I received a letter  
From a Mrs. Martha Laurens, even better, it said:  
  
**[MARTHA]**  
Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health  
And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth  
In the pockets of people like me: down on their luck  
You see, that was my husband who you decided to  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Fuuuu...  
  
**[MARTHA]**  
Uh-oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold  
So time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled  
And hey, you can keep seein' the whore without strife  
If the price is right: if not I'm telling your wife  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
I hid the letter and I raced to his place  
Screamed, "How could you?!" in his face  
He said:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
No, sir!  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Half dressed, apologetic  
A mess, he looked pathetic, he cried:  
  
**[JOHN]**  
Please don't go, sir!  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
So was your whole story a setup?  
  
**[JOHN]**  
I don't know about any letter!  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Stop crying  
Goddammit, get up!  
  
**[JOHN]**  
I didn't know any better!  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
I am ruined...  
  
  
**[JOHN (ALEXANDER)]**  
Please don't leave me with her helpless (I am helpless — how could I do this?)  
Just give her what she wants and you can have me  
(I don't want you)  
Whatever you want (I don't want you)  
If you pay (I don't)  
You can stay!  
  
**[JOHN (ALEXANDER)]**  
(Lord, show me how to say no to this) _Say no to this_  
Tonight (I don't know how to say no to this) _Say no to this_  
('Cause the situation's helpless)  
Helpless  
(And his body's screaming, "Hell, yes.")  
Whoa!  
(No, show me how to say no to this) _Say no to this_  
How can you say no to this? (How can I say no to this?) _Say no to this_  
(There is nowhere I can go)  
_Go! Go! Go!_  
(When his body's on mine I do not say...) _No!_  
(Yes) Yes _Say no to this! No!_  
(Yes) Yes _Say no to this! No!_  
(Yes) Ye-ye-yes _Say no to this! No!_  
(Yes) Yes _Say no to this!_  
(Say no to this...)  
(I don't say no to this) Don't say no to this  
(There is nowhere I can go)  
_Go! Go! Go!_  
  
**[MARTHA]**  
So?  
  
**[ALEXANDER]**  
Nobody needs to know


End file.
